The Ethos of Extremism
Some Reflexions on Politics and A Fanatical Life
Part One: 1968-1973
As someone variously described – by assorted academics, authors, journalists, politicians, and others – as an extremist, a fanatic, a theoretician of terror , a neo-nazi thug, the man who shaped mind of a bomber, an example of the axis between right-wing extremists and Islamists , a man of extreme and calculated hatred , as someone at the forefront of extreme right-wing ideology in Britain since the mid-1960s , a ferocious Jihadi , and as an ardent defender of bin Laden , some personal reflexions on my forty years of extremism may be of interest to a few people, especially given that, as a result of experience, a pathei-mathos, I have come to reject racism, National-Socialism, hatred, and all forms of extremism, having developed a personal weltanschauung, a non-religious numinous way, centred around empathy, compassion, fairness, and love.
In respect of my extremist past – whatever and whenever the extremism – there has been, and there remains:
“…a deep sorrow within me; born from a knowing of inexcusable personal mistakes made, inexcusable suffering caused, of fortunities lost; a sorrow deepened by a knowing, a feeling, a learning, of how important, how human, a personal love is. Indeed, that love is the most important, the most human, the most numinous, virtue of all.” 
These brief reflexions are primarily concerned with past personal feelings, past political experiences, and past motivation – that is, with perhaps some of the underlying causes of extremism – and I have striven to be as honest as possible in describing these even if the result is an unfavourable impression of me or at least of the person I was. Furthermore, I will leave others to judge these former feelings, experiences, and motivations, of mine, and draw whatever conclusions, if any, they can about such extremism as I describe – be such conclusions personal, or political, or arrived at by means of some social or psychological theory applicable to subjects such as extremism and its causes.
On a more academic note, it might be useful to explain how I, in the light of practical experience, understand important terms such as extremism. By extreme I mean to be harsh, so that an extremist is a person who tends toward harshness, or who is harsh, or who supports/incites harshness, in pursuit of some objective, usually of a political or a religious nature. Here, harsh is: rough, severe, a tendency to be unfeeling, unempathic. Thus extremism is considered to be: (1) the result of such harshness, and (2) the principles, the causes, the characteristics, that promote, incite, or describe the harsh action of extremists. In addition, a fanatic is considered to be someone with a surfeit of zeal or whose enthusiasm for some objective, or for some cause, is intemperate.
In respect of racism, I accept the standard definition, which is that racism is a prejudice and antagonism toward people regarded as belonging to another ‘race’, as well as the belief some ‘races’ are better than or superior to others, and that what is termed ‘race’ defines and explains, or can define and explain, the behaviour and the character of the people considered to belong to some postulated ‘race’.
My practical involvement in right-wing extremist politics really began in 1968 when I, still at school and not long returned from a childhood in the Far East and colonial Africa, became an active supporter of the newly formed National Front and of Colin Jordan’s newly formed British Movement. My initial motivation for joining these organizations and becoming politically active was simple: to further the cause of National-Socialism and to enjoy the comradeship, the struggle for power, and the violence.
Some time before becoming so involved, I had chanced upon a copy of Shirer’s book The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich and was inspired by the described actions of Otto Ernst Remer during the July 1944 plot against Hitler. Familiar as I was with The Iliad and The Odyssey – with Hellenistic culture and history in general – I youthfully, rashly, made a connexion between the heroes of ancient Greece and Remer, impressed as I was by Remer’s loyalty and sense of duty. This led me to, over subsequent months, read everything I could find about Hitler and the Third Reich; a reading which took me to local libraries and bookshops, then to bookshops and libraries in London. I even managed to find and buy copies (not originals) of old 8mm film of nazi rallies and some German propaganda films made during WW2, viewed using an old home projector; for I had discovered there was, even then in the 60’s, something of an ‘underground’ market in nazi memorabilia.
Suffice to say that my reading and my viewing enthused me so that after a few months I considered myself a National-Socialist, an admirer of Adolf Hitler, believing that National-Socialism could create a new heroic age. To mark my ‘conversion’, I bought a small gold swastika tie-pin from a seller of nazi memorabilia and did not mind when, out wearing it, some people stared – for I was prepared either to launch into a rant about NS and Hitler or for a fight.
Thus while my initial motivation was naively idealistic and somewhat schoolboyish, I soon came to embrace NS racial doctrines, aided by acquiring and reading a copy of the English edition of HS Chamberlain’s two volume work The Foundations of the Nineteenth Century. This meant I accepted that some races were superior, and others inferior; and that ‘the Aryan race’ – being the most superior, the most evolved – had a special ‘destiny’. As for the extermination of the Jews, to be honest for some months I vacillated between two extremes – between believing ‘it was unfortunate but perhaps necessary, an act of war’ and between believing it ‘was Allied propaganda’.
Horrid as acceptance of such genocide is, I had already become, without knowing it, an extremist; for I was prepared to accept or to dismiss horrid facts, certain truths, in the belief that what mattered was the goal, the ideal, and that to achieve this one had to be harsh, even fanatical and brutal. In addition, I had come to regard war – modern war – as necessary, as the breeding ground of arête, and in war people are killed or slaughtered, just as the victors, the Greek heroes, in the Trojan war slaughtered many of the people of Troy after its fall and just as Alexander decimated the people of Massaga.
Later on, I was to discover that I was far from being alone, in neo-nazi circles, in this detestable acceptance of brutality and genocide. For instance, I can recall several discussions about the extermination of the Jews with support being voiced for such measures, and several occasions when a certain song, well-known in neo-nazi circles in the 60’s and 70’s, was sung by ‘comrades’, with the song beginning “Gas ’em all, gas ’em all, the long, and the short and the tall…”
However, in the months following my ‘conversion’ to the cause of National-Socialism I could not quite shake-off – for all my new enthusiasm and fanaticism – certain uncomfortable moral feelings regarding the holocaust, and so began reading voraciously about the subject, a reading which included trawling through multi-volume accounts such as The Trial of German Major War Criminals: Proceedings of the International Military Tribunal Sitting at Nuremberg, Germany. But in the end, after months of such reading and study, there came a point when I simply accepted, out of a desire to believe, that the genocide ‘was Allied propaganda’ so that, to me then and subsequently, further research regarding, or rational debate about, the matter became unnecessary. In effect, I came to fanatically believe it was war propaganda, and this fanatical belief was immune to criticism as I became intolerant of, dismissive of, others who tried to convince me that the horrors of the camps were real.
In retrospect, I needed to believe it was propaganda, a myth, because to do otherwise would destroy the imaginary, the idealistic, the perfect, the romanticized, National-Socialism I then believed in and accepted. To do otherwise would mean that Hitler was not as I imagined him to be, as I hoped he was: a noble and good man who had triumphed against all the odds purely out of a love for his people and his land. Thus it might be correct to conclude that my research into the matter then was biased, born not out of a desire to find ‘the truth’ but from a need to prove that my own conclusions, assumptions, and beliefs, were correct. There might therefore have been an element of faith involved here, and subsequently, such that inconvenient, or awkward, facts and truths are ignored, dismissed, or regarded as the ‘propaganda’ of those opposed to one’s beliefs.
Hatred, Love, and Violence
Although – on joining the NF and BM – I was very naive about politics, something of a tabula rasa, I soon developed the same prejudices and the same hatreds as the people I came to associate with; prejudices and hatreds aided by pamphlets and books read, loaned and given, and by discussions with party members, especially those belonging to BM. Thus I came to regard ‘immigrants’ as somewhat uncivilized, certainly inferior to White people, and considered their removal from ‘our land’, our country, as a necessity. Before this, I had no opinions, no views, about such matters, and my understanding of National-Socialism was greatly aided and developed by personal discussions with, and by written correspondence I had with, Colin Jordan.
During this formative period, I subscribed to items such as The Thunderbolt newspaper published by Edward R. Fields and so regularly received anti-Jewish and anti-Black reports; reports that seemed to confirm the necessity of racial separation and the need for a final solution to ‘the Jewish problem’. For I had, in common with nearly all BM members and many NF members, come to believe that the Jews, in England, as in many other Western lands, had too much power and too much influence, were somehow by nature badly disposed toward White people, and thus were our mortal enemies.
In practice these beliefs and prejudices, this racism, meant three obvious things, and one interesting and curious thing, as least it is curious and interesting to me, now, on reflexion. The three things are:
(1) That I developed a very idealized, a very romanticized, view of and naive love for those I regarded as my own people, my own race – especially in respect of English people; regarding them as probably the most civilized people on Earth who had built the best, the most noble, Empire the world had ever seen, and who had ‘civilized’ or brought civilization to large parts of the world.
(2) That I developed a prejudice and antagonism toward other races in general, and in particular against ‘Blacks’ and Jews, and thus, as a group, and politically, hated them and did not wish to associate with them.
(3) That I regarded violence in pursuit of my beliefs as natural and necessary, and came to regard political enemies – such as ‘Reds’ – as legitimate targets of political violence.
The one interesting and curious thing is:
That despite my racism, my nazi beliefs and ideals, my political activism, I was not personally offensive to or prejudiced or violent toward or hated individuals of other races that I met, including Jews.
Thus, and apropos all four things, I somehow and in some way managed to compartmentalize my personal life and my political life, for although I enjoyed political brawls, and was not averse to using violence, it was not in my nature to be personally rude or offensive to or violent toward people as individuals, whatever their perceived ethnicity; unless, of course, they threatened me personally, one individual to another, or had personally threatened someone I cared about. In fact, my hatred and violence was more directed toward political enemies – especially during political confrontations – than it was to other races; so directed that for many years, from 1968 to 1974, I would actively seek out such potentially and hopefully violent political confrontations and enjoy them. This enjoyment, this seeking after violent confrontation, perhaps explains why Martin Webster, in 1971 after meeting with me a few times, described me to a friend of his (who was studying at the same University as me) as “having a death wish”, a description which rather irked me then.
That said, about compartmentalization, I did for a long time – directly and indirectly – incite hatred and violence against other races, both by speeches, often vitriolic, impassioned, and always extempore, I gave at political events; in discussions with comrades and others; by means of articles I wrote, and by posters, leaflets, stickers, I designed. But this was, to me at the time, impersonal, just propaganda, somewhat calculated, and regarded as a necessity in order to achieve certain political goals – and was probably more reprehensible for so being impersonal and propagandistic.
Only on a few occasions was I directly, personally, involved in violence against ethnic minorities, and these were unplanned, spontaneous, incidents involving several ‘ethnics’, one of which incidents led to me being arrested and given a prison sentence, but in all of which incidents – to be honest – I was or became motivated by dislike of and anger at ‘these foreigners’ because I felt they did not belong in ‘my country’ and should ‘go back to where they belonged’.
The particular racial incident that led to my arrest and my first term of imprisonment occurred in the early 1970’s, following some racial clashes in Wakefield between skinheads and ‘ethnics’, in this instance people of or descended from those of Pakistani origin. On the day in question I, then domiciled in Leeds, was out with Eddy Morrison and a few other comrades handing out anti-immigration leaflets in Wakefield hoping to capitalize on the violence and so possibly gain some new recruits for the cause. The leafleting over, we came across a group of skinheads, some of whom I vaguely knew. Sensibly, Morrison left while I, sensing there might be – and hopeful there would be – some violence, went with the skinheads looking for trouble. Thus it would be fair to say that I was responsible for what followed, as the Judge at my subsequent criminal trial judged I was. Our group – these young lads and I – wandered around for a while until we found some young Pakistani men whom we racially abused and then began to throw stones and bricks at. They ran away, and we gave chase… Suffice to say, when this first skirmish was over, we – buoyed by our success and I seem to recall at my instigation – went off in search of more targets. Eventually, after perhaps an hour or so – maybe more, maybe less – we found ourselves the subject of a large Police operation with officers chasing us. We split up and I, not knowing the area, ended up on some industrial lot with several Police officers blocking the only escape route. Soon, the Police had caught and arrested all of us.
Conclusion (Part One)
Thus, during these early years there was – for me at least – a strange mixture of an idealized non-personal love, of hatred, and violence, involved in my actions, as well as racial prejudice and a romanticized view of my people, my land, and of Hitler and National-Socialism. All of which combined to provide me with an aim, a goal, a rôle; and which enthused and vivified me and gave me a sense of identity, a meaning and a purpose, a sense of duty and of destiny.
Hence I considered myself an Englishman, belonging to a land, to a people, with a great heritage; a people, a land, I idealistically, romantically, naively, loved. A land, a people, a heritage, I believed was threatened by immigration and by immigrants, by alleged machinations of the Jews, and by traitors and enemies such as communists and anti-fascists. I also considered myself a National-Socialist, a follower of Adolf Hitler, since I believed, with the assuredness of faith, that National-Socialism was the only way to restore the ‘greatness of my race’ and build a better, more heroic, civilization for future generations of my people. To achieve this future, I was prepared to use, and did use, violence – believing that it was necessary to be harsh, and possibly ruthless, in order to secure victory. For such victory – the triumph of National-Socialism – was all that, then, really mattered to me.
This strange mixture – this elixir of extremism, this duty of ‘victory or death’ – was the reason why I, during those years and normally a rather quiet, well-spoken, polite person, gave impassioned, extempore, speeches at political events, meeting and rallies; why I would launch into a tirade, in private, if someone said something negative about Hitler or National-Socialism; why I was prepared and hoping for violence during some political march or rally; why I would without a moments hesitation walk into a building and smash up some exhibit or some anti-apartheid exhibition or why I, alone, was unafraid to confront one, two, three, or more, enemies ‘on the streets’; why I accepted imprisonment with equanimity and a certain pride, knowing that I had done or tried to do what I then considered was my duty to my people, my country.
Ultra-Violence, Covert Action, and Terror
Two significant events during this period (1973-1975) helped shape and develope my extremism. One was that I was released from my first term of imprisonment for violence, and the second was that I was recruited by the underground paramilitary and neo-nazi organization Column 88.
Simply put, prison hardened me even more, while involvement with Column 88 confirmed my faith in the ultimate victory of National-Socialism.
My imprisonment had perhaps the opposite effect to what the Judge at my trial may have intended, for far from ‘teaching me a lesson’ it only served to make me more fanatical and more violent. It also enabled me to learn new skills and acquire new contacts of a decidedly criminal kind, skills and contacts which – as I have mentioned elsewhere  – I put to use following my release when I formed a small gang of thieves to liberate certain goods and fence them in order, initially at least, to fund various political schemes and projects of mine.
In addition, prison life seemed to me to confirm two of the fundamental axioms of National-Socialism, that of the necessity and value of kampf and that of the führerprinzip. That is, of hardening one’s self, being prepared to use force, to be ruthless, unsentimental, in order to survive and prosper; and either earning respect or being obedient and submissive. For prison seemed to be like some ancient uncultured, uncivilized, macho tribal society where force or the threat of force (by both cons and screws), and/or one’s personal cunning, were the basis of life, and where those of a violent or of a cunning nature tended to prosper. Perhaps fortunately I was or could be both violent and cunning so it was not really surprising that I ran a racket inside, selling goods liberated from a variety of sources including prison stores.
This increased political fanaticism and more violent nature would lead me, months later and with the help of Eddy Morrison, to found, in December of 1973, a new political neo-nazi organization based in Leeds; the rather grandly named National Democratic Freedom Movement, and which organization would be rather aptly described, some years later, by John Tyndall in the following terms:
” The National Democratic Freedom Movement made little attempt to engage in serious politics but concentrated its activities mainly upon acts of violence against its opponents. […] Before very long the NDFM had degenerated into nothing more than a criminal gang.” 
Thus 1973 and especially 1974 became, for me, a time of ultra-violence, criminality, and of a fanaticism even more extreme than that of previous years. A period during which I was regularly involved in fights and brawls, regularly arrested and appeared ‘in the dock’ – including for running that gang of thieves – and which period would end, perhaps inevitably, with me being sent to prison for a third time.
” Among the highlights of that NDFM year, for me, were the following. I smashed up (with one other NDFM member) an anti-apartheid exhibition, in Leeds (twice). I gave vitriolic extempore speeches at public meetings (some of which ended in violence when our opponents attacked). I waded into some Trade Union march or other, thumped a few people then stole and set fire to one of their banners (arrested, again). I arranged a meeting at Chapeltown, in Leeds (the heart of the Black community then) at which only five of us turned up, including Andrew Brons but not including Morrison. We faced a rather angry crowd of several hundred people, who threw bricks, stones, whatever, at us, and we few walked calmly right through them to our parked vehicles, and rather sedately drove away, our point made. No one said we could do it.
I spoke extempore at Speakers Corner in Hyde Park for around a half an hour to a crowd of over a thousand; it ended in a brawl…Finally, toward the end of that Summer, a meeting we had arranged on Leeds Town Hall steps resulted in a mass brawl when the crowd of around a thousand attacked us, after I had harangued them for around half an hour. Several Police officers were injured as they tried to break up the fights. I was arrested (again) but soon was granted bail…
When my case came to trial, at Leeds Crown Court, I was accused of having “incited the crowd” and generally held responsible for most of the violence.” 
Everything I did in these years I justified to myself, and often to others, by invoking principles such as ‘the survival of the fittest’ and by the belief that in order to secure victory for the political cause I believed in, any and all means were justified, from violence to hatred to using rhetoric and propaganda in order to motivate people and gain recruits.
As for Column 88, involvement with that well-organized, now long-defunct, paramilitary group gave strength to my conviction that a National-Socialist victory was possible, for C88 had many overseas contacts, held regular meetings attended by young neo-nazis from all over Europe, and had among its British members not only many older professional people but also some members of the military. In addition, given its paramilitary nature and the paramilitary training undertaken, there was the knowledge that there were many others like me who were, under certain circumstances, prepared to use both physical and armed force in the service of our NS cause.
Thus I became aware that I and the few dedicated National-Socialists I had met in previous years in groups such as British Movement and the National Front were far from alone; that were many other committed National-Socialists ‘out there’. Which awareness, which practically acquired knowledge, not only strengthened my commitment to National-Socialism but which also strengthened my resolve to fight for ‘the cause’.
There also developed in me during this time, and because of my involvement with C88, a realization that both covert action and terrorism  were or might be useful tactics to employ in the struggle for victory, a struggle which I – extremist and fanatic that I was – accepted would be brutal, violent, and bloody, and thus possibly cost the lives of some of us, some of our opponents, and even some non-combatants. For I was during these years enthused and somewhat motivated by the rise to power of Hitler’s NSDAP; a bloody, violent, struggle which had cost the lives of many comrades, from ‘the fallen’ of November 9th 1923 to Horst Wessel. I thus considered myself, and my comrades, as continuing that struggle – that struggle for the supremacy of the Aryan race, and the struggle against ‘decadence’ and our Communist, liberal, and Jewish enemies. In this struggle I personally – inspired by Savitri Devi’s book Lightning and The Sun – considered the military defeat of The Third, and the death of Adolf Hitler, as but temporary setbacks to be avenged.
In respect of covert action, I came to the conclusion, following some discussions with some C88 members, that two different types of covert groups, with different strategy and tactics, might be very useful in our struggle and thus aid us directly or aid whatever right-wing political party might serve as a cover for introducing NS policies or which could be used to advance our cause. These covert groups would not be paramilitary and thus would not resort to using armed force since that option was already covered, so far as I was then concerned, by C88.
The first type of covert group would essentially be a honeytrap , to attract non-political people who might be or who had the potential to be useful to the cause even if, or especially if, they had to be ‘blackmailed’ or persuaded into doing so at some future time. The second type of covert group would be devoted to establishing a small cadre of NS fanatics, of ‘sleepers’, to – when the time was right – be disruptive or generally subversive.
Nothing came of this second idea, and the few people I recruited during 1974 for the second group, migrated to help the first group, established the previous year. However, from the outset this first group was beset with problems for – in retrospect – two quite simple reasons, both down to me. First, my lack of leadership skills, and, second, the outer nature chosen for the group which was of a secret Occult group with the ‘offer’, the temptation, of sexual favours from female members in a ritualized Occult setting, with some of these female members being ‘on the game’ and associated with someone who was associated with my small gang of thieves.
While I enjoyed and then lived for political action – especially confrontation and brawls – and was motivated, fanatical, enough to speak extempore in public and take charge in a violent situations on the streets, and loved to plan such violence and motivate people to undertake it, I disliked the day-to-day organization and the (to me) petty manipulation that was, or seemed to me to be, the lot of an organizer and leader. I also lacked the charm, the charisma, the flexibility, a political organizer and leader needed.
In contrast to me, Eddy Morrison had a natural charisma, a certain charm, and was an experienced and adept organizer. He also, unlike me at the time, had a good sense of humour and was well-liked whereas I was probably more feared, or respected, because I was simply considered a nutter, a violent psycho. As a consequence, he was a natural leader; suited to leading the NDFM, and of all the people I knew at the time the most suited to organize and lead such a covert group especially given the fact that its ultimate purpose was to aid our NS cause. However, for all my attempts at persuasion he was uninterested in both C88 and in my ideas regarding covert action. He also, beyond being a fan of horror stories and of HP Lovecraft, had no interest whatsoever in the Occult. Thus I had to make do with someone else as organizer and ‘leader’ of this covert group, this person – then a comrade, a married businessman living near Manchester – being the one who had suggested the outer, the Occult, form of the group.
For some time, this underground group appeared to flourish, with some ‘respectable’ people recruited – initially a lecturer, a teacher, a solicitor, among others – with some of the recruits becoming converts to or in some way helping our political cause, and with such clandestine recruitment aided, later on, by some unexpected, non-factual, unwanted, publicity.
But what happened was that, over time and under the guidance of its mentor, the Occult and especially the hedonistic aspects came to dominate over the political and subversive intent, with the raisons d’etat of blackmail and persuasion, of recruiting useful, respectable, people thus lost. Hence, while I still considered, then and for quite some time afterwards, that the basic idea of such a subversive group, such a honeytrap, was sound, I gradually lost interest in this particular immoral honeytrap project until another spell in prison for an assortment of offences took me away from Leeds and my life as a violent neo-nazi activist .
Birth of A Theoretician of Terror
It is perhaps fair to say – so far as I recall – that I was the one who, in C88, first broached the subject of using certain tactics such as improvised explosive devices and assassinations in a direct campaign against both our enemies and what I often then referred to as ‘The System’. Prior to this – so far as I knew – training and discussions had been concerned with and were about possible future events, in particular a Soviet invasion of Western Europe, an invasion scenario which at that time (the early to middle 1970’s, the Cold War era) was taken seriously by Western governments and Western military forces.
My basic idea – the plan – was to use such tactics to cause disruption, fear, and discontent, in order to provoke a revolutionary situation that our NS, our racist, our fascist, or anti-immigrant groups, might be able to take advantage of politically and otherwise; with part of this plan being to encourage the government to introduce more and more ‘martial law’ type control and regulations, which type of control and regulations (and surveillance) those in the military inclined toward a more authoritarian, or even fascist type, government might use to their advantage. For from such authoritarian or fascist type beginnings, National-Socialism might be covertly, gradually, introduced.
It needs to be remembered this was when ‘the troubles’ – armed conflict in Northern Ireland – was possibly at its most bloody, and which conflict, together with IRA attacks in mainland Britain, caused consternation and concern both in British government and in certain military circles, with some ordinary ranks, a few junior officers and even a one or two of the higher ranks covertly talking about a scenario when a military coup in Britain might be justified. Not that, so far as I with my limited knowledge know, this minority discontent among certain military – and perhaps a few intelligence – personnel ever become widely known or has even been mentioned in books, memoirs, or articles written about those times. But this discontent did capture a certain mood among certain people during that period, a mood I had some personal knowledge of, partly as a result of C88 contacts, partly as a result of some trips I made to Northern Ireland, and partly as result of other contacts such as squaddies involved with or supportive of right-wing groups.
Thus my ideas, my proposals, were to some extent grounded in the realities of those times. Times when disruptive industrial strikes and disputes were common in Britain, when the National Front could hold rallies and marches of thousands of people and had a membership possibly in excess of 10,000 members, when many more ordinary British citizens were, or seemed to be, generally supportive of the ‘stop immigration, start repatriation’ campaign, and when there was some support, or seemed to be some support, in certain military and even government circles for a more authoritarian approach to government.
I justified my ideas – the plan – and thus the use of such tactics by immorally believing and suggesting to others that in ‘such dire times’ victory could not be achieved without sacrifice and blood, and that for our people, our land, to survive and prosper it was necessary for some of us to be hard, ruthless; that ‘history’ showed that such ruthlessness was effective. And so on and so on. I do remember, on several occasions, idealizing the Roman Empire and ranting about how Rome built and maintained its Empire, its glory; not by negotiations, not by elections, not through a policy of peace and non-violence, but because ruthless men, hardened by war, had conquered, subdued and dealt severely with discontent and threats to ‘the Roman way of life’, to Rome, and to the Empire. Quite often I would quote some words of Hitler, from Mein Kampf, such as that the broad masses respond to what is strong and uncompromising; that a struggle on behalf of a weltanschauung has to be conducted by men of heroic spirit who are ready to sacrifice everything, and that if a people does not fight they do not deserve to live.
Hence, to me now, on reflexion, it does not seem to be hatred – of whatever type – that motivated those ideas, such a terrorist plan, of mine but rather a glorification of war, of strife; a belief in struggle, in ‘the survival of the fittest’; a naive desire to personally act based on notions of sacrifice and glory, of being part of a desperate struggle, a war, that began with Hitler and the NSDAP. Most of all, perhaps, there was the misguided feeling that ‘our people’ were under attack, threatened with slavery and then extinction, so that desperate, ruthless, measures were necessary to save them. A feeling that most certainly derived from the absolute conviction I then had that ‘race’ – one’s idealized race – was the most important thing, so that this idealized, mythical, ‘race’ came before everything, and therefore (so the perverted reasoning went) what was moral was what aided and ensured the survival and prosperity of this ‘race’.
As for practical consequences, then, I do not believe there were any, of significance, known to me. For I discovered little support for these ideas, this plan, probably for a quite simple reason, which was that the people in C88 disposed toward and trained for action preferred to concentrate on C88’s stated aims and objectives: of being a practical bulwark in the event of a Soviet invasion or an internal Communist, extreme left-wing, revolution, and of slowly infiltrating National-Socialists into positions of influence within British society.
However, perhaps it was these ideas of mine, my enthusiasm for and rants about such action – to selected C88 people of course  – that later on resulted in a sort-of ‘bomb making package’ being produced by some of them (a package complete with several pairs of disposable surgical gloves), one of which packages was delivered to me, in Leeds, on my release from prison in 1976 but which I personally did not use given that shortly thereafter – for reasons outlined in Myngath – I, suffering from a loss of idealism, had a change of heart, and decided to become a monk in a Catholic monastery. A loss of idealism, a moral change, that would, however and unfortunately, not last that long.
 Searchlight, July 2000
 Mark Weitzman: Antisemitismus und Holocaust-Leugnung: Permanente Elemente des globalen Rechtsextremismus, in Thomas Greven: Globalisierter Rechtsextremismus? Die extremistische Rechte in der Ära der Globalisierung. 1 Auflage. VS Verlag für Sozialwissenschaften/GWV Fachverlage GmbH, Wiesbaden 2006, ISBN 3-531-14514-2, pp.61-64
 Searchlight, July 2000
 Sunday Mercury, July 9, 2000
 Martin Amis, The Second Plane. Jonathan Cape, 2008, p.157
 Robert S Wistrich, A Lethal Obsession: Anti-Semitism from Antiquity to the Global Jihad, Random House, 2010.
 David Myatt, Some Personal Perceiverations. e-text, February 2012.
See also my compilation Meditations on Extremism
 David Myatt, Myngath. 11th revised edition, 2011.
 Spearhead, April 1983.
 A possible definition of terrorism is: ” The calculated use of violence or the threat of violence to inculcate fear; intended to coerce or to intimidate governments or societies in the pursuit of goals that are generally political, religious, or ideological.”
 Honeytrap meaning ‘something that is tempting’ – as in the modern usage of honeypot – and also ‘something covert to attract/entrap a particular type of person’. That is, a type of ‘sting’ operation. Thus, State-sponsored espionage is not implied.
 This new life later on included entering the noviciate of a Catholic monastery, and which monastic experience led me to reform myself, at least in respect of immoral and criminal activities and thus in respect of involvement with such immoral honeytraps. However, as recounted here in Part Four, I had occasion, during the 1980’s, to renew my association not only with some old C88 comrades but also with the mentor of that Occult honeytrap when, after of lapse of many years, I became involved again in neo-nazi politics and revived my project of using clandestine recruitment for ‘the cause’. By this time, that Occult group had developed some useful contacts, especially in the academic world, so some friendly co-operation between us was agreed; a co-operation which continued, sporadically, until just before my conversion to Islam in 1998.
This clandestine recruitment of mine was for a small National-Socialist cadre which went by a variety of names, beginning with ‘G7’ (soon abandoned), then The White Wolves (c. 1993), and finally the Aryan Resistance Movement aka Aryan Liberation Army [qv. Part Five for details].
However, while some of these Occult contacts were, given their professions, occasionally useful ‘to the cause’ and to ‘our people’, by 1997 I had come to the conclusion that the problems such association with Occultism and occultists caused far outweighed the subversive advantages; a conclusion which led me to re-write and re-issue a much earlier article of mine entitled Occultism and National-Socialism, and which revised article was subsequently published in the compilation Cosmic Reich by Renaissance Press of New Zealand. As I wrote in that article – “National-Socialism and Occultism are fundamentally, and irretrievably, incompatible and opposed to each other.”
By the Summer of 1998 I had abandoned not only such co-operation and contacts with such Occult groups but also such clandestine recruitment on behalf of National-Socialism, concentrating instead on my Reichsfolk group and my ‘revised’ non-racist version of National-Socialism which I called ‘ethical National-Socialism’. Later still, following my conversion to Islam, I was to reject even this version of National-Socialism.
 I recall one occasion, early on, trying to discuss my ideas – the plan – with C88’s organizer in his home while, at my suggestion, very loud military music was played, from a Hi-Fi system, in the hope that it might drown out any covert listening or recording devices. Since the reality was that we could not hear what the other person said, that particular silly ploy of mine was very quickly discontinued.
The Ethos of Extremism
Some Reflexions on Politics and A Fanatical Life
Part One: 1968-1973
Hatred, Love, and Violence
Conclusion (Part One)
Part Two: 1973-1975
Ultra-Violence, Covert Action, and Terror
Birth of A Theoretician of Terror
Part Three: 1979-1986
The Propaganda Years
Blood and Soil
Vindex – The Destiny of The West
Part Four: 1987-1992
Part Five: 1993-1997
The Strategy and Tactics of Revolution
The National-Socialist Movement
Part Six: 1998- 2002
Demise of the NSM
Conversion to Islam
Part Seven: 2003-2006
The Question of Martyrdom Operations
Concerning Aqd Al Amaan
Pathei-Mathos – Genesis of The Numinous Way